just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
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if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
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What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.