Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head