Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?