He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
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I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
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I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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