i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
