I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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