I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
