I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
