Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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