He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
