oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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