Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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