she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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