Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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