On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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