I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.