would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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