Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize