dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...