Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
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Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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