Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
