He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
