Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize