That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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