There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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