:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
