Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
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The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
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the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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