my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
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Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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