I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize