he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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