Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Randomize