8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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