why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You ate ashes out of my bong
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
