I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Houston, we have a squirter
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
