you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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