Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)

(540): View more from Virginia

awesome babe! drinks tonight!

(703): View more from Virginia

Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.

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(703): Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :) (540): awesome babe! drinks tonight! (703): Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck. http://tfl.nu/zccd

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(813): View more from Florida

hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.

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(813): hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton. http://tfl.nu/u4qg

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(706): View more from Georgia

If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.

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(706): If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america. http://tfl.nu/uk3q

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.

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(843): Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT. http://tfl.nu/52hv

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.

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(401): I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me. http://tfl.nu/vovs

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(704): View more from North Carolina

2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year

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(704): 2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year http://tfl.nu/2ypx

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(517): View more from Michigan

He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters

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(517): He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters http://tfl.nu/qui3

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(775): View more from Nevada

You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.

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(775): You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun. http://tfl.nu/rs7k

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(604): View more from British Columbia

You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..

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(604): You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude.. http://tfl.nu/bx2g

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June

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(864): Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June http://tfl.nu/abqo

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(913): View more from Kansas

I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off

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(913): I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off http://tfl.nu/aizm

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(817): View more from Texas

The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.

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(817): The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride. http://tfl.nu/s0ye

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.

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(414): Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking. http://tfl.nu/i6qu

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.

(1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs

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(610): No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her. (1-610): That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs http://tfl.nu/zsmx

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality

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(+44): I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality http://tfl.nu/sxru

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