these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.