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Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
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