Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.