hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.