Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.