I hate all girls vehemently.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats