Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling