brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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