im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
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He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
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Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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