So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
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Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
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DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
what food is Colorado known for?