i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.