Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?