So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.