somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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