ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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