mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
How does one acquire holy water?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm really busy with my period
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