This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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