Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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