i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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