I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
