margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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