what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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