i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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