She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
