this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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