whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
it's like iHOP with fire
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
