hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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